Concerning Mia

Sometimes my heart tells me that I broke her heart, that I didn't fulfill my promise to her. But why do I even think about this? It's because I know she liked me, but I don't know if she loved me. Still, it's hard to understand why she wanted me to be with her. For me, it was because she was the girl I was spending a lot of time with, communicating every evening. I started to develop love in our friendship because I thought she was the one for me. Oh, how sweet it is to have someone who communicates with you, who texts first, who seeks your attention without you having to beg for their time!

Mia was a good girl... but as long as she showed me that we could be close friends, my love for her grew too. But she kept her distance—it was all through text. She wouldn't let me see her. I only saw her once, and after that, she didn't allow me to see her again. Eventually, I grew tired of that, plus other challenges in my life were weighing me down. My projects were failing, the organization was going under, and I started to see myself as a failure. Still, Mia kept reaching out to me, but I started giving her less attention because I couldn’t always express how I felt.

Then, one night, I was about to tell her to let me go, but I think she sensed something was wrong. I didn’t want to break her heart because I remembered the first time she cried. She asked if we could talk in the morning, but I knew it was because she was afraid. I took some time to think about what to say to her, and the only message I wrote was, "I don't see you." Sometimes, you can be with someone for a long time, but you don’t really see them. You miss them even when they’re with you. And I guess, as men, we are supposed to be leaders, visionaries... but it felt like I didn’t know the vision between me and Mia. She seemed to know, but I was dying inside to truly understand her.

After sending that message, I deleted Telegram because I knew she would write to me again. I had asked for her number, but she wouldn’t give it to me. I had asked to see her, but she wouldn’t let me. So, when I left, I didn’t have much left for her. I don’t regret it, but I still remember her care, her attention. She was a kind girl. I can’t go back to search for her because if she’s still the same, I might fall for her again, and I might leave her again. But if she has changed, that can be another story or begining.

I want to say that my life is starting to make more sense now. One of the reasons I left her was because I couldn’t communicate my world to her—it felt like a burden. I wish her the best too. Maybe I was selfish, but deep down, I wanted something different, so I followed my heart. It’s hard, but the world has a lot of hope, and I’m with someone now who can fulfill that.

I don’t know how our life could’ve been if I didn’t make that decision that night, but we never know. This is why time is something I don’t understand or can’t explain.

I'm sorry Mia

NB: The reason we write things like this is that, years from now, this will become history that comes to life again.




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